Sunday, October 16, 2016

For Highriser.

Andrew I know you said you wanted the croc boots but I had these especially picked out for you.

I've seen your legs, these are just so perfect, ravashingly divine in fact.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Remember the old days?

 Those days when I would post skimpy vampy costumes for all of us on Halloween unfortunately we've all put on a little weight and those skimpies would have us arrested on sight.
But shoes we can get away with and are these the weirdest shoes ever?

I am not a snake person and these would give me the horrors especially if the Cobra heads moved as I walked.  Frighten the hell out of snotty kids trying to lift my sweeties.

Oh mine, mine. People have always said I had a big mouth and a sharp tongue but they go so well with those shifty eyes.  Tongue looks a bit long, I can see me stepping on it and doing an A over T.

Now this is why I go to a podiatrist.  My nails end up looking like this if I leave the visits too long between. No, I'm not going to call them my 'kicking kiddy' boots but my wicked side longs for a quick jab just for the fun of it.  I'm old and nasty and so are these boots.

I want these framed only because they remind me of my son.  His sneakers could be brand new on Monday and look like this on Friday.  Since I'm now reduced to wearing sneakers because of damn painful feet, I want to wear these.  People would never turn their heads at my beauty but hell's bells they'd do a double take at my exquisite footwear.  And no, it's not another 'kiddy biter' boot, I don't hate kids, just loathe the little ferrets because they can use an iPhone and I can't.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

I will crawl back

As most of you know I live in a house that could do for a couple of Phd's in biology just on the kitchen floor, cat fur rolls into hummocks, the mouse is still living in the oven and brooms linger in the corners and gossip like workers round the water cooler.  So off I go out into the bracing fresh air and come home with an air born Roto virus, the spelling is immaterial.  I am still ill a week later although I did eat a meal last night.  I haven't had a vomit spell like this since I don't know when and was lucky I grabbed a towell on the way to the bathroom. I won't go into the gory details but there is a reason Billious Yellow will never be named colour of the year.

My phone has gone crazy in the storm and I can't be bothered fighting with Telstra yet.
I tried to clean the toilet and if I ever find the evil bastard that invented child proof locks on toilet cleaner bottles I will jam his head so far down the S bend he'll never be found. I used a screwdriver combined with pliers.
Mother is sicker than I am, as usual.
I will never be without Gastrolyte in this house again and I'm never giving it to anybody even if I know they are feeling as badly as I did last week and this week, probably next as well.
It will be another week before I try eating food that isn't white, no colour, even the toast isn't browned.
And stuff youse all around me who now have speedy broadband, 8 of you thieving signal mongrels who all log on together and I'm left without a computer as well as no phone.
The world is whizzing around now so I'm back to bed so I can face the news full of politicians full of themselves.

I will return.

Friday, October 07, 2016

Last photo until she's 21.

I can't decide whether she going to be a boxer, I mean look at the hands, or Ian Thorpe, I mean look at those flippers and the length of the toes.
Both parents are tall so I'm going for the next Super Model.

Saturday, October 01, 2016


I am now a great grandmother, yea!
Here is Clio Therese.
Born last Thursday at 7.05
weighing in at 7lb 14oz.
and 52 cm long.

She's all wrapped here but she has hands like
Muhammed Ali and feet like Ian Thorpe.

My granddaughter's happiness
made me tear up.
I anticipate a weekend of blubbing.