Monday, October 31, 2016

Where have they gone?

 Boronia megastigma, or Brown Boronia, is a small shrub native to southwestern Western Australia occurring from Perth to Albany. Boronia megastigma grows to less than a metre. It has small leaves and small cup-shaped flowers, which occur in spring.
 Boronia - Australian Bush Flower Essences. This is the Essence for resolving obsessions - thoughts, events, things or ideas which are stuck. It leads to clarity and focus. It combines wonderfully with ...Daphne

 Daphne is a genus of between 50 and 95 species of deciduous and evergreen shrubs in the family Thymelaeaceae, native to Asia, Europe and north Africa. They are noted for their scented flowers and poisonous berries.  I love the pink variety but my mother in law had a white Daphne which was more strongly scented.

 The gardenia, a native of China, has been cultivated for over a thousand years. Planter John Ellis introduced the lovely flowering shrub to colonial America in 1761, following an Asian trip. Named for his friend, Dr. Garden, a Charleston physician, the bloom became a favorite for corsages because of its intense fragrance.  I love the curled petals but the fragrance knocks my sinuses for a loop if I'm exposed for too long.

Memories of these blooms came back to me yesterday when the wind blew the orange blossoms in my back door along with half the apple blossoms.  When we first moved here, 40 years ago, it was all native garden fashion and the delicate Pampas Grass which grew into the humungous house sized bush that in some cases took a 4x4 to drag it out.  It was quite entertaining watching the neighbours sweating it out.  Being the crap gardener I still am, I waited for the wind to blow everybody's grass seeds onto my bare sandy front and back yard, worked a treat. I didn't plant gum trees, I knew how big and how fast they grew so it was sycamores, golden elms and acers which were pruned down every Autumn.  

I did grow a Walnut from scratch and citrus trees  loved the place.  You will notice I don't mention flowering plants, a complete bust except for geraniums and ivy.  I remember one Saturday afternoon when an enterprising bloke drove round the streets towing a trailer full of boronia plants.  We all managed to buy at least one and the perfume was out of this world.  None lasted too long especially in the garden of death I had.  One neighbour had a yellow boronia by the front door and the perfume would go right through the house. She pulled it up and threw it in the bin because she wanted something more fashionable for the times, a bit like the poodle perm she sported. 

So when I wander round and look at the Sunday photo blogs, I never see any of those plants above.
My mother in law had them all. Mum had boronias.  So where have they gone?  It wasn't like Mum and M-i-L were mad gardeners, they just stuck in a branch of something and it would grow. One had sandy soil, the other had clay.  My theory is they grew because the two of them thieved every plant that took their eye when walking.  It was, "you have a cuppa and we'll take the baby for a walk", walk and steal from both sides of the street. The pram would come back loaded with looted goodies and I never knew them to be without a paperbag and scissors in their handbags.

I have one success, a patch of violets is flourishing under the shade of the apple tree but I have to flag it in case the new mowerman does them in.  At the moment the quote is $150 to cut the grass but I'll have to draw a map to show him where the traps are. The land might look level but there are holes everywhere where trees were cut down but it cost too much to drill out the stumps.  But there are ways, Buddha is still sitting on the Blue Spruce and every years the snowflakes flower around him.
A bowl of water sits in the place where the walnut came down and a bowl sits over the grapefruit stump which is slowly crumbling away.  That was the best way, a pot plant over the stump with another on top with a geranium.   Very bad Feng Shui to have stumps in the yard especially when I'm paying for the mowing.  I hate breaking in a new mower and I've put it off for too long but I hoped Eric the mower would be okay but the cancer has advanced too far and he will not be here again.
Mick the mower is also Mick the pruner and he'll be getting a lot of work in that direction as well.

It will be the end of my morning delight of watching the cat leaping over the wet grass to get to the poop patch.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

For Highriser.

Andrew I know you said you wanted the croc boots but I had these especially picked out for you.

I've seen your legs, these are just so perfect, ravashingly divine in fact.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Remember the old days?

 Those days when I would post skimpy vampy costumes for all of us on Halloween unfortunately we've all put on a little weight and those skimpies would have us arrested on sight.
But shoes we can get away with and are these the weirdest shoes ever?

I am not a snake person and these would give me the horrors especially if the Cobra heads moved as I walked.  Frighten the hell out of snotty kids trying to lift my sweeties.

Oh mine, mine. People have always said I had a big mouth and a sharp tongue but they go so well with those shifty eyes.  Tongue looks a bit long, I can see me stepping on it and doing an A over T.

Now this is why I go to a podiatrist.  My nails end up looking like this if I leave the visits too long between. No, I'm not going to call them my 'kicking kiddy' boots but my wicked side longs for a quick jab just for the fun of it.  I'm old and nasty and so are these boots.

I want these framed only because they remind me of my son.  His sneakers could be brand new on Monday and look like this on Friday.  Since I'm now reduced to wearing sneakers because of damn painful feet, I want to wear these.  People would never turn their heads at my beauty but hell's bells they'd do a double take at my exquisite footwear.  And no, it's not another 'kiddy biter' boot, I don't hate kids, just loathe the little ferrets because they can use an iPhone and I can't.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

I will crawl back

As most of you know I live in a house that could do for a couple of Phd's in biology just on the kitchen floor, cat fur rolls into hummocks, the mouse is still living in the oven and brooms linger in the corners and gossip like workers round the water cooler.  So off I go out into the bracing fresh air and come home with an air born Roto virus, the spelling is immaterial.  I am still ill a week later although I did eat a meal last night.  I haven't had a vomit spell like this since I don't know when and was lucky I grabbed a towell on the way to the bathroom. I won't go into the gory details but there is a reason Billious Yellow will never be named colour of the year.

My phone has gone crazy in the storm and I can't be bothered fighting with Telstra yet.
I tried to clean the toilet and if I ever find the evil bastard that invented child proof locks on toilet cleaner bottles I will jam his head so far down the S bend he'll never be found. I used a screwdriver combined with pliers.
Mother is sicker than I am, as usual.
I will never be without Gastrolyte in this house again and I'm never giving it to anybody even if I know they are feeling as badly as I did last week and this week, probably next as well.
It will be another week before I try eating food that isn't white, no colour, even the toast isn't browned.
And stuff youse all around me who now have speedy broadband, 8 of you thieving signal mongrels who all log on together and I'm left without a computer as well as no phone.
The world is whizzing around now so I'm back to bed so I can face the news full of politicians full of themselves.

I will return.

Friday, October 07, 2016

Last photo until she's 21.

I can't decide whether she going to be a boxer, I mean look at the hands, or Ian Thorpe, I mean look at those flippers and the length of the toes.
Both parents are tall so I'm going for the next Super Model.

Saturday, October 01, 2016


I am now a great grandmother, yea!
Here is Clio Therese.
Born last Thursday at 7.05
weighing in at 7lb 14oz.
and 52 cm long.

She's all wrapped here but she has hands like
Muhammed Ali and feet like Ian Thorpe.

My granddaughter's happiness
made me tear up.
I anticipate a weekend of blubbing.